Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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