Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
