She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My vagina just clenched in fear
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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