***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
