I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
