He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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