You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
