Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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