Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I didn't notice because vodka
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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