Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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