I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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