You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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