i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
