Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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