There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
