think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
