Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
