you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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