Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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