Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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