Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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