covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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