Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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