let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I believe in your delicious
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize