I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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