So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
