Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
