Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
