Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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