Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
