I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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