There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
