Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
