im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So vagazzling was a success
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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