i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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