just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize