so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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