"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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