some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
