i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
