i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
