What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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