It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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