it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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