what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
