so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
