You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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