sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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