I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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