What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
