You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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