he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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