he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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