they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
