Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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