if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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