I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
