bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
