How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
