Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
